"Well, some nights I wish that this all would end"
- Some Nights, FUN -
I saw him the other day. He went out with one of my closest friends. I had no deal with that at all... or did I?
I'm confused with my feelings about Damian. He is everything any girl would ask for. He's fun to be with, ever so charming, and his sweetness is beyond the Milkyway. I was his friend since forever but we started getting to know each other better around late December 2011. It was a stupid television show which lead to a movie which lead to us knowing each others secrets... Sooner than I thought, he had a grasp on my heart, I felt like we were one. As days passed, letters arrived. He swept me off my feet with his every charm. I fell even deeper into this hole which people keep falling into called Young Love. We started thinking about the future, about how much we meant to each other, our plans after we graduate. I was head over heels, I admit, but then I remembered Faith's words; "Isn't this going too fast?".
As days turned to weeks, I thought about all that had happened and where it was leading to. Eventually, I called it off. I needed to focus on other things and like my mother once said "Focus on what's important". It was tough, like an Add Math question where you don't get to bring the calculator in. I was hoping that we could still keep in contact and remain to be the best of friends we are. I thought that right now wasn't a good time and told him specifically that "If we ever find someone to take our place, we shouldn't let the feelings of each other hold us back." and "If God willing, we will get together again." . So I waited. A day passed... 2 days passed... and on the third day, I couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't saying anything. Either of us were. As if we were going to end up like sad relationships where you just don't talk to each other. So I made a move and thankfully, everything was back to normal.
It's been 2 months since that day passed. I told him about my secrets as usual, and I told him about a crush I had on someone for about 6 years already. His name was Riley who was always caught up with somebody else. I always found myself only but a shadow in his eyes. Damian was surprised and raised me the question about whether we were getting back together, yet again I said "no promises". About a day afterwards, I found out that Riley had broke up with his girlfriend. I was in shock since I didn't see it coming.but since then, things became weird.
Questions of how the breakup was and what happened was all around the campus ( i think it was). Everyone knew about it. Later on, my group of friends - being their awesome shipper heart self, decides to ship me and Riley. I was chilled and laid back about it until it started to annoy me. Every word of shipping was annoying. My feelings just couldn't stand how these people never get tired. But there was Ellie. Ellie had a different point of view of things. She started bringing back the topic of Damian to our lunch table. She hated how people forgot about the ship they made for me and Damian. She even said once that SHE wanted Riley to herself, I just fell back in silence and covered the blanket on me as I fell into my slumber, wishing it was all a dream.
I noticed lately that Damian and Ellie were getting to know each other. I was pretty fine with it. But the fact that every time I talked to Damian, she would want to mention to the world how we would last forever. How we were the perfect couple. I got annoyed by it because I'm not even sure whether I'm going to get good grades, let alone a life time with Damian. I get it. She's trying to be a supportive friend and all, but doesn't she ever think that it's going over board?
Damian was another issue. He has been so afraid of losing me. Lately, he's been skipping his classes because he was "ill" and such (wants to spend time with me) on free periods. I didn't like it at all. When you are committed to something, nothing should distract you. Back on topic. I've been super busy with studies, co-curricular activities, family and other more important things I need to attend to. And the worse part is, Damian treats as if I don't care about/want his presence. No, its not like that. I like it when he's around, but I need my own personal space too. I need to organize myself also. The world does not revolve around you alone, Damian. He has to stop obsessing over whether we were getting back together, like, for real. On other days, he likes to feel bad about himself. About how he isn't like other guys. Like seriously, even if I comfort him, he just wont stop.
Back to the statement I made above, I was referring to Ellie and Damian. yeah. They've been hanging out. Sharing stories, agreeing on the same topics, doing assignments together... I really don't mind if they get together actually. I wouldn't even be surprised if they had feelings for each other.
