"I know I'm probably much too late, to try and apologize for my mistakes. I just want you to know."
-When I Was Your Man, Bruno Mars.
Hello readers.
Apologies I have yet to make. The list goes on and on.
I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I've been caught up with so many things. Studies, extra curricular activities, literature play... Lets just say having to go home at 5 pm almost everyday isn't exactly the best thing I have ever done in my life. With the play and all happening... stress, emotional breakdowns, misunderstandings...
I'm sorry I was angry. I'm sorry that every single thing that happened for the past year has been pissing me off. Every little fight made me go crazy. It's the middle of the year now. I don't expect people to accept my apology, because, really, I'm a criminal. I might as well be executed for my wrong doings. I'm sorry that the words that I typed were slightly (no, really it was actually REALLY) harsh. I wrote it out of anger and frustration. I wrote it out of pain and misery. What other place to dump it in other than my blog: a place for people to hear me out, right? WRONG. I guess that's not what a blog is for. A blog is for you to recommend places to shop, foods to eat, etc.
I'm sorry that you have to handle my crap all day. I noticed how much I'm not there for you most of the time. How I don't understand your emotion. How I can't relate to you. I really am terrible at being a friend. I feel like I should do more. I feel like I am a worthless person to be called a buddy. But, I'll try. I'll try to listen; not hear. I'll try to understand as much as possible. I'll be more like you. A person who listens, who understands, who knows what its like, who will stand by you through every challenge possible without fail. Thank you for sticking around even if I was pain in the butt.
I'm sorry to you for being the reason I got angry. I would blame PMS but... everyone goes ballistic when they reach their breaking point, be it men or women. It's not you that made me angry, it's what you did. I don't hate you, I hate what you did. I'm sorry that I got angry for who you are. I'm sorry that I didn't realize how much I would affect the people around me, especially you. I don't expect you to change. I don't expect you to accept my apology. But from the bottom of my heart. I really am sorry.
I don't expect you to accept my apology, really. I just want you to hear me out for the last time. I want you to know what I feel. I want you to understand what you put me through. I also want to thank you for making me a stronger person each day. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for existing. Each person that walks into my life leaves a mark, be it good or bad, and I appreciate every soul for it.
"The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest."
The feelings stay. No matter how mad I am at you, you still do mean the world to me. All of you.
